Write a letter to an agent, telling her how wonderful you are.

Dear Ms Stomar,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to give you the opportunity to represent ME!

I’m awesome. I’m honest to a fault and definitely the sort of person you’ll be keen to represent. I describe myself as an outspoken, honest, drama queen. 

I’ve heard of your excellent work and am keen to discuss possibilities for furthering my career with you.

Instead of writing the above, I’ve been distracted by the noise outside:

The excessive testosterone could be measured in the gruff notes of verandah karaoke and the vibrations of the floorboards beneath my feet. Assassins Creed references flew through the air, as did the impromptu parkour efforts; and failures. Occasionally, the roar dimmed to a murmur of one upmanship with spikes of attention grabbing falsetto. Despite both obvious and subtle attempts to the contrary, the girls present remained unimpressed and left without falling for the somewhat dubious charms of their male peers. Slowly, the racket subsided to a rumble, punctuated by growls and grunts whose use in communication seemed apparent only to the participants.

Write a 20 line poem about a memorable moment of your life.

I was born, I know that much

But the event itself, well, I’m out of touch.

I am sure I felt; I believe I’d cried

But I don’t remember being inside.

My mother does, at least somewhat

She was the one who was “on the spot”

As it were, when she had me

And because, as you know, I’m the first of three

The experience can’t have been ALL bad

For with my mum or my dad.

Since then I remember many things

Chasing butterflies; twisting on swings.

I remember the birth of my own babies, four

I remember deciding not to have any more.

I remember the pain of unnecessary death.

I remember the first time really noticing breath.

I remember the joy of finding direction

The smarting sting of all correction.

I even remember things I’ve been taught;

But of my birth, I remember naught.