Open Invitation – Part 2

This is a continuation of a previous post, now that I’ve had a little more time to think about it.

See the original post HERE.

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With the ease of Facebook and other technologies to share information to a mass audience, some people consider the mass invitation a form of spam. I don’t do it in that way. Each time I create an event on Facebook, I go through my friend list and the people I invite fall into one of a few catgories:

1) We’ve spoken about this and I know you want to come.
2) I want you to come and think you’ll be able to.
3) I want you to come (and want you to know that) even though I don’t think you’ll be able to.
4) We haven’t seen each other in ages, possibly years, and this is one way to let you know I still think of us as friends and would like to spend time in your company.
5) You, like me, might be a company hungry extrovert and therefore appreciate an invitation to an event that you didn’t have to organise.

So, if you are invited to things by me and you didn’t understand, I hope you have a better idea now.

And in a few minutes, I’m off to buy lunch……

Want to come?

Veritas, Eski

Permanent Ink?

I have never considered getting a tattoo before. This has been for two main reasons:
1) Apart from God and my family, I’ve never stuck to one thing long enough to warrant contemplating having it inked permanently onto my person.

2) I have a relatively severe needle phobia. This is self-explanatory.

This afternoon, I came upon this blog post:

The Semicolon Project

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And I felt a blast of decision. I will do this. I will tattoo a semicolon on my inner wrist to:

1) Remind me to take a pause and keep going. When I struggle with my depression, I need this. Life throws all manner of things at us and we all need to pause and keep going.

2) Start conversations. When I’ve shared my experiences of depression on Facebook, I’ve been whelmed by the conversations that are ignited. People vent and share and feel they’re not alone. I’ve had some people say that they’ve been on the verge of taking their own lives and, having seen my posts, have felt less alone and kept going.

One woman, hearing me describe my decade at a ladies’ conference, came up to me afterwards and said that her grown up daughter felt the same way as me and they’d never understood each other.  She was going home that day to apologise and help her seek help. I’ve seen her since and apparently all is going much better.

During times like this, when I feel like my depression is somewhat sorted and under my control, I often forget to share and the world sees me as ‘normal’ me. I’d like to remind others and myself that depression is often ongoing and the need to support each other is also ongoing.

If experiencing some little pain will help even one person, it’s enough. I’ve been through much better and much worse than an hour or so of needle pricks; I can do this.

I will do this. Who would like to join me?

Honesty – again!

Billy Joel says it best. “Honesty is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard and mostly what I need from you.”

So often we present a Facebook status view of ourselves to the world; even those closest to us. That’s one of the reasons I believe Facebook is so popular. It allows us to hide or display ourselves as much or as little as we want to. Now, of course, there are extremes of each.

We’ve all seen, and desperately tried to forget, updates on a person’s bowel movements – with or without accompanying graphic; the selfie in the toilet; the badly framed view which didn’t take the mirror behind them into account; the 2am night out shot – etcetera, etcetera, ad nauseum.

And the moment by moment, blow by blow account.
#ateasandwich
#brushingteeth
#gothiccups
#goodnight
#goodmorning
#goodafternoon
#walkeddog
#sneezedmygutsup
#yougetthepicture!

Mostly though, I think we as a society are guilty of the director’s cut life. You know what I mean. Those Facebook updates that make you feel like your life is never going to measure up. By comparison, you – or your significant other – don’t make the grade. Photos of huge flower bouquets from darling husbands for no reason. Happy, smiling families with not a hair out of place. Cute videos of children who walked sooner, further and on a cleaner floor no less, than yours. New jobs, new friends, new hair, whatever it is, it’s always good and it’s always better than yours.

Now please don’t get me wrong, I’ve probably posted about every single one of the things listed above, with the glaring exception of the cleaner floor. It’s what Facebook is for, no doubt, but is it honest? And if we live that way in the virtual world, how much creeps in to our real, face to face, everyday interactions?

Virtual world or not, it’s ridiculously easy to pop on our ‘game face’ and answer, “Fine,” at appropriate moments, but if we do it too often, I believe we actively block real connection with those to whom we could be close.

For real connection, be honest. Be real. Don’t be, “Fine.” Be, “Just awful, but thanks for asking.” Be, “I’ve had better mornings, thanks.” Cry if necessary.

Be you, in all your glorious splendour.
Be you, good, bad or ugly.
Be you. Truthful. Honest
Be you.